My Blessing is a Trial

As I was going through the blogs today I noticed a pattern of posts. "TRIALS" Everyone seems to have something going on in their life right now that has causes them to reflect a little on life. Such as: Why we are here, What we can do to be better, and how Heavenly Father knows what to do to make us stronger. Even though, as we go through it we may not understand why we need it. I am also going through that right now. One of the biggest blessings in my life is my kids. They have brought me so much joy and have changed our lives in so many wonderful ways. The newest addition however, has challenged us more than I thought she would. I love Callie with all my heart and am so glad that she is in our family and I know she was sent to us for a reason. We have had some great moments with her and some very hard ones. I don't know how many people have had a baby that cries a lot, but if you have you can relate to me. Callie has Colic very bad. Which just meas that know one knows why she cries. It is at some points in the day non stop for hours and nothing I do changes it. It is not only hard for me, but you can tell that it is affecting Kolsen too. It has to be hard for a little person to not know why this new baby is always screaming. I think the hardest part for me right now is that no matter what I do I can't help. That is one of the worst feeling for a mom to have. To know that she can not comfort her child. It is also hard because when she is like this it is so hard to bond with her the way I did with Kolsen. He was an angel baby and the only trial with him was spit up. Which I thought was a big trial until now. I love her unconditionally and I know there is something I need to learn from this so I just have to be patient with her and I know she will grow out of it or I will learn what I need from her.

Anyway, I also know that Heavenly Father knows me and what I need, more than I do. I had a really neat experience Friday night and Saturday. I am in the primary presidency in our ward and I got a call from our Primary president at 9:00 at night saying that she couldn't be at the stake baptisms the next morning and asked if I could go. I didn't have anything going so I told her I could and thought nothing of it. Then we went to bed. I can honestly say that last night was the worst night we have EVER had with kids. After going to bed at 11:00, Callie was up screaming from 12:00pm-5:00am, and there was nothing that Jason or I did that would help. If she did fall asleep she would wake up in 3 min screaming again, Kolsen was up and down because she was so loud, and I have not been sleeping very well so I was not handling things good at all. Anyways, when Kolsen got up at 6:00 we were all up for good and started our day. Then I went to the baptisms. The spirit was so strong there and I know that Heavenly Father knew that I would need that after the night I was going to have and I can't tell you how much more emotionally stable I am now that the spirit has been so strong all day. I love my heavenly Father and I KNOW that he knows me and what I need. I LOVE my children and am so thankful that I have been blessed with them. I know there are others struggling with their specific trials and it is comforting to know that we are not alone in what we are going through. It is also interesting that everyone had such different needs and then get met through some challenging situations. I am also thankful to our friends and family who offer to take our little ones so we can get a break and are so sensitive to the spirit to know when to help without me having to ask. I am really bad at asking for help because I don't want to feel like a burden to anyone. Thank you and please know that even the small and simple gestures are so appreciated!!!!